In 2019 I decided to re-enter the world of background acting and office temp work. I had previously worked in both industries for many years in my late teens and early twenties.

Upon making the decision I contacted my old background agent and my old office temp agency and was pleasantly surprised to find them both happy to have me back. Not that I expected them not to be. But, being that it had been many years, there was the fear of being forgotten.

It wasn’t until re-entering these worlds that I realized how important building my perfect personal reputation was to me. How I had toiled away, taking last minute gigs and always being early, to become the go to personal for my contacts.

I have been very proud that my reputation has continued in my favour after being sick for so many years and I thought this should be the whole goal to my professional life.

However, I’ve even been afraid to put myself out there more in my business life in fear of finding failure somewhere along the way.

I knew the fear part was wrong but until now I thought that guarding my reputation was exactly what I should be doing.

Happiness is the Way

I recently took out a pile of books from my bookshelf, took a picture and asked a friend which one I should read first.

She said: “the happiness one”.

So, I put the rest away and brought Happiness is the Way by Dr Wayne W. Dyer to my bedroom for morning reading.

While I’m only in the beginning of chapter 2, I’ve already gotten a few gems to reflect upon from this book, but today’s consideration has been on whether or not my approach to my life has been ego-driven or not.

On page 24 Dr Dyer writes:
“Ego-dominated people view failure as something that immobilizes them, whereas awakened people – that is, those who aren’t driven by their ego – allow failure to mobilize them.”

This statement caused me to pause and ask myself if I really understood what ego meant. So I looked on

Ego: the “I” or self of any person; a person as thinking, feeling, and willing, and distinguishing itself from the selves of others and from objects of its thought.

Egotism; conceit; self-importance.

An Exploration of Ego

Interestingly enough this is something I had heard in a different way many times yet it never resonated with me.

If you have a business or have listened to business trainings, you may have heard the idea that it’s all about your clients. A successful business is all about serving others.

Right?! Did you have the same knee jerk reaction I usually do?

That snarl that says, I’m not a servant. What if I’m not happy?

I think that saying it that way does make people think that they shouldn’t have healthy boundaries and that they should sacrifice a lot for their client’s success.

The way Dr Dyer has said it gives it a new perspective that makes it feel more controllable.

Another way to read what he wrote is that an ego-driven person is more worried about their reputation than they are about the needs of the people they set out to help.

What Does This Even Mean?!

Now, I’m not saying that as a reputation focused person you are only thinking of self-serving ways to accomplish goals. I haven’t. I wouldn’t.

What I am saying is that if you’re only worried about your reputation and afraid of making mistakes or having failures, are you really reaching the people you can help the most?

This is the question that is now on my mind after reading that quote from Happiness is the Way.

After all these years I have also realized that my perfect reputation in background acting also contributed to some of my ongoing health struggles and habits.

Have you considered what the cost to your perfect reputation may be for you?